going alone, alone
I am planning to go Salsa dancing alone this weekend. This will be my first time unaccompanied by a man or even girlfriends. I was wondering if you could give me some tips and etiquette advice on how to carry myself with class yet not look too desperate to dance. I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea about my being there alone. Should I lie to them and say I'm meeting someone so I won't look so vulnerable? Also, where should I sit, at the bar or at a table? Close to the dance floor or far from it? Please, please, please, give me all the helpful hints you can think of!!!!!"
- A Little Nervous..."
Dear A Little Nervous.
I loved your question. This question is VERY common among not only Latinas, but ALL WOMEN who love to dance. I go alone to clubs 99.9% of the time - I prefer it that way. This way, I don't have to worry about the person I'm bringing or who I'm with, or if I'm forced to leave early because they're "tired", or got "sick". I don't have to concern myself over whether or not they want to go to breakfast with me, or them wanting to go, and me not... or them forgetting their I.D., or my having to pick them up, drop them off... WHAT A PAIN!!!
Fortunately, I have a very, very simple answer for you. You won't look vulnerable if you do the following: From the minute you walk out of your car, to the minute you leave the club and get back into your car, I want you to act like you OWN THE PLACE.
You should be able to sit wherever you want. You should be able to ask anyone you want to dance. You should never, ever have to answer to ANYONE about your marital status, life, nor any other personal question for that matter. If men start asking you questions, that means you're not out there dancing enough (which means you're too far from the dance floor). If men still get a question across to you, answer it however you wish - but only with enough confidence to scare them.
Remember one thing:
Unless they are pointing a gun to your head, you will never have to answer anything to anybody, period.
Scan the dance floor, look for good dancers, get your aerobics in. You've got a job to do. Do it confidently, then leave. Remember, you OWN the place.
Let me know how it went!
- Edie, The Salsa FREAK!!