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Just Wanna Say "No"


  • Just Wanna Say "No"

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    Hi Edie, I am wondering what the etiquette is for when a man asks you to dance 3-4 times in one night and you don't enjoy dancing with him. I am trying to learn by dancing with different men and do not enjoy dancing more than once with this particular person but he keeps asking me and I keep politely saying yes. I am always grateful to be asked to dance but isn't there a time when I can say no? Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you!
    - Just wanna say "no".

    Dear Just wanna say "no"...
    I run into this A LOT. And yes, it's great to dance with as many different people as possible. But if there is one person that is SUPER consistent, and is ALWAYS asking you, it's OK to say "No Thank You'. Do not give an excuse. Just say "No Thank You."

    Your politeness will turn into martyrdom over time, if you are not careful.

    Believe it or not, saying "no" to a person who is asking you to dance is VERY DIFFICULT to do.

    In the past, when I've simply said "No Thank You", I was called a bi____tch. So now, guys don't ask me, they just extend their hands out, and if I shake my head no, it is less ... rude (for lack of a better term).

    Some people think it's rude to say "no". So, they end up coming up with ALL SORTS of excuses:

    • I'm with my friend
    • I'm tired
    • I don't like this song
    • I promised this other guy this song
    • I hurt my leg
    • I have to pee...
    • etc..

    But here's what you CAN say.
    "We've already danced one song tonight, and I want to dance with as many different people as possible."

    If you don't like that, here's another one:

    The MINUTE you see him, walk up to him with an ENORMOUS SMILE, grab his hand, and say (lovingly)...
    "I've got you on quota for ONE song per night. Are you ready?"

    ... then dance up a storm with him, smiling the entire time.
    When you are finished, tell him the following:
    "Now I will try and dance with as many different people tonight as possible. Will you save me a dance next week?"

    This way, you will not come across as a bi___tch and have left the door open for another time together.
    Either case, he will smile. You both will.

    If he asks you again that night, you may say, "We'll dance again next week." Then grab another guy's hand, to dance.

    You will need to get used to asking men to dance. Why? Because you will see this other guy coming up to ask you on several occasions. I usually dodge men I don't care to dance with by continuously walking around the nightclub. No one can ever find me in a certain "spot". If there is a guy I want to dance with, I will ask HIM. If "I" want to be asked to dance, I will stand on the edge of the dance floor with my palms up, swaying to the music, snapping my fingers, and singing along with a HUGE smile on my face. This gets me dances almost 100% of the time!

    Happy Dancing!!!

    - Edie, The Salsa FREAK!!
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