No announcement yet.

Sex-Starved Women


  • Sex-Starved Women?

    Click image for larger version

Name:	fantasy_land.jpg
Views:	1
Size:	5.2 KB
ID:	5149
    Figure #1: "Fantasy Land"

    "Dear Edie,
    I've been noticing lately that women are far more sexually aggressive these days than men. Wow. It's like, I just wanna dance, but lately, it seems they always want something more. I feel like some of them are sex-starved or something.
    - Concerned for today's modern Salsera"

    Dear "Concerned for today's modern Salsera",

    It's more probable that these women are NOT "sex-starved" at all. When we women go out dancing, we want to escape the realities of life, and submerse our minds and bodies into a mental Fantasy Land (Figure #1 above) of fun, thrills, laughs, and sensuality.

    "The female body is designed by our Creator for Pleasure.
    It is designed for Creativity and Expression.
    It is designed for Fun and Exhilaration".
    Dr. Christiane Northrup, PhD

    We women LONG to "express ourselves" physically and emotionally because that is how we are built.
    YOU, "Mr. Concerned", must have taken her to an emotional Fantasy Land, without realizing it.

    I always quote my famous line to my Salsa students:
    "It is the Man's Responsibility to Make the Woman FEEL Good,
    It is the Woman's Responsibility to Make the Man LOOK Good."
    - Edie, The Salsa FREAK!!

    For a man, learning how to dance Salsa is a LETHAL WEAPON.
    Bottom Line. Men do not realize this as they are learning / progressing. The better they get, the more women turn their heads toward them, start talking about them, asking them to dance more and more, follow them to the restroom, wait for them ... just for an opportunity to FEEL his AMAZING LEAD, and MELT in HIS ARMS!!

    Why? Because they CAN!!!

    A well-trained Salsero... HAS BEEN CONDITIONED TO DO ALL THAT !!!

    Click image for larger version

Name:	mens_styling_small.jpg
Views:	2
Size:	9.9 KB
ID:	5153

    Some of these Salsero's names get written on the inside of the women's restroom walls
    so other women can "be informed" of this GREAT Salsa leader!

    What is amazing, is that these guys JUST DON'T GET IT at first. THEY ARE COMPLETELY NAIVE and HAVE NO CLUE until a few weeks go by and they start realizing that all these women are following them around, asking for their number, putting their hotel room keys in their trouser pockets...

    A few years ago while at a Salsa Congress, a male Salsa instructor [extremely great lead - not good in looks, but AWESOME in Musicality] said to me later that night after the social was almost over, "Edie, I have THREE hotel room keys in my pocket. I have NO IDEA who put them there, and who's they are. Holy smokes!!"

    I laughed. I also thought it was cool that he felt comfortable enough around me to tell me that! He was CLUELESS that his LEAD took his dance partners to FANTASY LAND and they wanted more! (It's disappointing to be dancing with an unbelievable lead, and find out later that he is horrible in bed... YOU DID NOT READ THIS HERE!!!)
    Any amazing Salsero that can THROW DOWN at any Salsa nightclub throughout the world has an affect on women like an aphrodisiac. AND I AM NOT EXAGGERATING.

    You see, when it comes to dancing Salsa, during the song, women are in a submissive state. We have to "follow". If you have a great lead, what women feel is far more powerful sensually, than what men feel - ... and when the chemistry is right, this feeling is amplified by an order of magnitude.

    Yes, men will feel it as well, BUT men have "more responsibilities" out there while leading - so, as a leader, you are far more "distracted" doing your job - WHICH SHOULD AUTOMATICALLY be making her "feel good" in the process.

    You sir, have about 25 things you need to think of simultaneously... she only has a few... so she gets to relax and "enjoy" this ride FAR more than you do. (this is why women outnumber the men on the majority of Salsa cruises throughout the world. We want our Fantasy on the HIGH SEAS!!!)

    Leaders, at a minimum, have to:

    1. - Learn enough moves to keep her interested.
    2. - Make sure she is comfortable, and well taken care of.
    3. - Maintain self balance and control.
    4. - Not be too light, nor too heavy.
    5. - Understand frame and body momentum
    6. - Keep his arms and feet out of her way.
    7. - Smile, and tell her how beautiful she looks tonight.
    8. - Stay on beat.
    9. - Make sure his lead is not too light, nor too rough.
    10. - Ask her to dance, and risk the humiliation of a "No", or lame excuse.
    11. - Make sure he doesn't touch her in the wrong place.
    12. - Allow her the time and space to turn and execute her moves.
    13. - Make sure just the right amount of hand-pressure is applied on her body.
    14. - Make sure he doesn't poke her with his fingers.
    15. - Protect her from bumping into other dancers.
    16. - Remember turn patterns and figures
    17. - Adjust to timing changes in the music
    18. - Keep her from falling if she is off-balance
    19. - Make sure there is just the right amount of body-momentum between both of them.
    20. - Keep the moves fluid, and working together.
    21. - Display her talents.
    22. - Display his talents.
    23. - Play traffic cop on the dance floor
    24. - Make sure she doesn't run into anyone, nor let anyone run into her.
    25. - Dance to the peaks, valleys, and hits of the music.
    26. - and about fifty other things.

    Followers at most, have to:

    1. - Know the basic steps.
    2. - Stay balanced.
    3. - Not be too light, nor too heavy.
    4. - Smile, and look pretty.

    Click image for larger version

Name:	romance16.jpg
Views:	1
Size:	5.3 KB
ID:	5151

    Let me explain.

    When you become an amazing Salsero (male Salsa dance leader), and are taught CORRECTLY, your lead becomes progressively intoxicating to women.

    I'm not at all surprised about your question "Mr. Concerned". If you were taught by a woman (especially in a Private Lesson format), who is a quality instructor and an expert at training you on What Women Want to feel in a quality lead, after a while, it will be difficult even for HER to stay focused.

    In all the years of my teaching, the following story has only happened to me once.
    I was giving private lessons to a budding Salsero. All of the ingredients were present: Respect, Honor, Admiration, Trust, Chemistry, Charisma, Charm, Masculinity, Flow, Comfort, Ease, Manhood... AAAaaaaand, this guy was becoming an amazing Salsero VERY FAST - picking up whatever I taught him faster and faster as the weeks flew by.

    He was on the rise like no one else I had ever worked with. After a few weeks, everything seemed to come so natural to him. He was an absolute pleasure to work with. His lead was becoming more and more refined, and powerful. I started thinking to myself, "Wow, in these few weeks, I could REALLY make him a lead to die for - and possibly one of the finest in the world if we keep going like this!" I started REALLY looking forward to our lessons together more and more because whatever I taught him, he soaked up like a sponge. It got to the point of where all I had to do was show him something ONCE, and he got it. He was like no other student I've ever taught - ever.

    THE DAY I started teaching him Musicality, was when "It" happened. It was nothing sexual. He didn't even realize it. His natural movements with the Music broke through, and triggered my "professionally well-hidden during private lessons" feminine side - I was starting to sense an overwhelming feeling of emotions. It felt like an ocean wave of "wanting or longing for him" that I have not felt in a very, very long time. It was all in my mind.

    While we were dancing, HE HAD NO CLUE what was happening to me all over my mind and body. Time just raced by. What I thought had only been 25 minutes or so of our lesson, was actually over two hours. It was unlike anything I've ever experienced before. That single Musicality lesson was the straw that broke the camel's back. After that, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I couldn't even sleep that night. He emitted his own masculine "It Factor" on "me" (without realizing it I guess) and I had to have a very serious conversation with him about it the very next day. I was up front, honest, told him exactly what I was feeling, how I felt we may need to stop our lessons together, or slow down, or SOMETHING.

    Click image for larger version

Name:	turn-on.jpg
Views:	1
Size:	10.9 KB
ID:	5152 "I didn't mean to...
    Turn you on."
    - Robert Palmer

    He just looked at me like a deer in headlights. I finally just blurted out to him... "Hello? Mister, I'm hitting you with a feminine MENTAL 2 X 4 ... buddy, GET A CLUE."
    He told me that he was completely oblivious and naive about what his lead and Musicality was doing to me. He probably thought I was a "Sex-starved woman" like you think women are becoming "Mr. Concerned". Lol.

    I had to keep things professional - I DID NOT want to be another statistic, and MORE IMPORTANTLY, I wanted to keep our friendship whole, intact, and professional at best. Because of what I've been through in the past, I'm very good at separating the student / teacher relationship - I pride myself on it. I never want to lose that with my students. Good reputations in this world are few and far between.

    Later, he mentioned his sisters were just like me (strong in character), and in a split-second, I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT I HAD TO DO. Immediately I started thinking of him as a my "Little Brother". OMG That REALLY worked. In fact it worked so well, everything about this "mental situation" of mine started making me laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of this whole Salsa thing.

    Yes guys, when you take privates with me, I breed you for WOMEN (so-to-speak). I train you for WHAT WOMEN WANT. And I must do a damn good job of it. The masculine power of MUSICALITY even had ME IN "LA LA Land"!!

    We shook hands, and that was that. This entire experience came completely unexpected. I was shocked at myself, and what I was feeling as well. I'm so glad we got it out in the open, talked about it IMMEDIATELY - "ripped it off like a band-aid" so-to-speak... VOILA. Done.

    I let out a huge sigh, and felt completely relieved afterward. I am now EXTREMELY CAREFUL how I go about teaching Musicality, and to whom. Needless to say, we agreed to take a break from our lessons for two weeks so I could reflect about how to go about this in the future, and pull myself together.

    WHAT WAS INSANE was when I realized that "I created this Monster". omg.

    Wow. I don't have any children of my own, so in a way, every one of my students is my "child" so-to-speak. To see how much he grew in such a short period of time; how far he's come (literally from nothing; no dance experience, barely any rhythm, hard to find the first beat of the music, etc... all the qualities of a typical Beginner), and to realize that what I taught him will not only help him with his future dance partners, but his relationships as well.

    - it was difficult to hold back the tears.

    I've realized that for an instructor, having the opportunity to experience this is extremely rare.
    I felt it both an honor and privilege.

    I am absolutely convinced, now more than ever, that Salseros have no idea how powerful Musicality is on a woman.

    You see, once you understand how to combine
    a QUALITY WORLD-CLASS LEAD with "Musically"
    with your partner ...

    ... that dance is BETTER than sex.

    Musicality is the Ultimate. It is Salsa Nirvana, and most average dancers don't even realize it - they've never been exposed to it and are literally missing out on one of the most beautiful experiences any dancer can experience in Salsa. I had no idea that once my student started "getting it" - it would have such a powerful physical and emotional affect on me the way it did.

    The Salsa dance floor is one of the few places left on earth where a man can truly show his manhood, quality, and character.

    It is a sanctuary where he can:

    • [*=1]Take care of her
      [*=1]Cherish her
      [*=1]Make her feel beautiful
      [*=1]Hold her
      [*=1]Protect her in his arms

      [*=1]Bring her into the music with him

      [*=1]... and take her to a wonderful "Fantasy Land" AND BACK - all within a few minutes.

    For her to have the life-changing opportunity to dance this way
    with man after man after man every Salsa night,

    ... is not only INTOXICATING, but utterly ...ADDICTING.

    If you think about it...

    • [*=1]She can't get this at work.
      [*=1]She can't get this at the gym...
      [*=1]... and she can't this from reading some TRASHY NOVEL.

    It's all in a Salsero's QUALITY LEAD.

    So "YOU", "Mr. Concerned" must have an unbelievable lead.

    Happy Dancing!
    - Edie, The Salsa FREAK!!

    Attached Files

    • ediester
      ediester commented
      Editing a comment
      I enjoyed reading this article and could not agree more! It was awesome and so true!

      When i dance an amazing dance....there is nothing like it in the world. it's funny because my favorite person in the entire world to dance with is someone that I dance with more than anyone else including my pro partner and I absolutely LOVE him to pieces.

      People here think we are together but we just laugh and don't even correct them anymore! As much as I absolutely LOVE, respect and adore this man (he is also my best friend), I would not want to cross a line into a relationship with him because I love dancing with him THAT much that if something didn't work out relationship wise I would be devastated to lose my friend and favorite dance partner in the world! Your article hit that nail on the head! I loved it! Thank you for sharing that with us!
      Last edited by BailaconPasion; 12-28-2012, 08:28 PM.

    • ediester
      ediester commented
      Editing a comment
      "You are NOTHING without me."
      "I wish I would have only stayed friends with you - we were PERFECT before..."
      "Once we crossed that line, our dancing was ruined."
      "You USED to be my favorite dance partner..."

      - Famous last words of Salseros breaking up with their Salsa girlfriends.

      This can happen. What's worse is when you see them over and over again at all the clubs you both go to. Makes you want to move to a different state.

    • macguy4321
      macguy4321 commented
      Editing a comment
      I'm defiantly working in this direction. I'd love it if I got a reaction from a woman like that.
    Posting comments is disabled.

Latest Articles


  • Relationships Baggage
    by staffster
    06-13-2013, 01:41 PM
  • Nostalgic for Dance
    by ediester
    Pete and Carmen from
    "Pete and Carmen's Salsa Dance Academy, Fresno, CA"

    Dear Edie,
    First off, let me say that your story on your website really inspired me. I discovered Salsa in college, when my roommate (who was a Salsa nut) wanted someone to go with her. I quickly discovered my limited knowledge of the differences in genre Cumbia, Merengue, Salsa, etc., but also I feel deeply madly in love with the thrill of it. After graduation we both moved on to live outside of
    01-01-2013, 04:43 PM
  • Should I Pursue, or Not?
    by ediester
    In this day and age, men are simply clueless when a woman gets turned on by him - especially if he is just simply "doing his own thing" the same way with every girl he dances with. Some women have been so frustrated lately at the "numbness" of the male's "simple-minded creatures" aspect that women have had to resort to simply "blurting out" how they feel, leaving the guys completely dumbfounded as to what is actually happening. And, of course, women now feel like idiots because THEY are...
    12-05-2012, 09:47 PM
  • Lower Your Expectations
    by ediester

    Dear Edie,
    Glad to hear your going to do another Salsa Bootcamp before the congress. I've been trying to go to the congress for two years now. Always something coming up; excuses, excuses, excuses. I'm only going to live once so I'm going; even if I have to go by myself! Right now I only have time for classes and private lessons. The projects I'm working on are all in the final integration and test phase so its double and triple shifts. Must eventually get the
    11-19-2012, 04:03 PM
  • The Dream
    by ediester

    Edie, I hope you remember "Bust my Ass with Class" Mary. You were too kind to print my article about my competition a couple of years ago. During which you were laboring under a double groin pull which I do soooo hope is healed by now! Okay, what follows below is a wonderful letter from a new friend of mine. Oh, as far as publishing this one, maybe no, not without editing (the boyfriend thing) & not without asking her permission but I know you & you would do these things with...
    11-19-2012, 03:49 PM
  • The Positive Side of Salsa
    by bcali
    "Dear Edie, Thanks Edie for talking to me about getting started in Salsa. I wish there were more people like you that really promoted the positive side of Salsa. What I have to say is a little commentary about where I see Salsa going. It is very interesting to just study the social scene of Salsa and in particular why oddly enough when I chose a place to live in the next 5 years it will have to be around a place where Salsa is very positive. Before I moved to Colorado, I was in Korea a...
    11-19-2012, 03:43 PM