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Should I Pursue, or Not?

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  • Should I Pursue, or Not?

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    In this day and age, men are simply clueless when a woman gets turned on by him - especially if he is just simply "doing his own thing" the same way with every girl he dances with.

    Some women have been so frustrated lately at the "numbness" of the male's "simple-minded creatures" aspect that women have had to resort to simply "blurting out" how they feel, leaving the guys completely dumbfounded as to what is actually happening. And, of course, women now feel like idiots because THEY are the ones pursuing the man, and no longer the other way around. This makes men the weaker of the two. Not a very comforting feeling for ANY woman to put up with for very long.

    Guys do not realize that by doing "nothing", they are letting go of their masculine power. And then they wonder why women can be so desperate for attention. I blame the feminist movement for this. Men don't know what to do, how to act, or when to take control. For a woman, she has no choice but to pull the reins herself and lead into the relationship like the man should have been doing in the first place. This is what makes him a man, rejection or not.

    Sad, but true.

    Men of today are too afraid of making a move - be it pride, or the past, or fear of rejection. I believe that if a man truly wants a woman, he will tell her or show her. If he doesn't, she should move on, and never pursue him. I believe it is up to the man to initiate. I guess I'm just old fashioned that way.

    If there is a "true" interest from the man, and a woman reacts to his response, then it was meant to be. If not, both should move on.

    It is his and her (both) "reaction" to the initiator that determines... "Should I stay, or should I go?"

    - Anonymous

    ______________________________

    "Edie, Your comment below blew me away. - I realized what I was doing to keep him feminine. wow. Thank you." - Anonymous









    .

    • jacquesho
      #2
      jacquesho commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello all,

      I completely agree with the original post, as well as Edie's comments. The dynamics of Salsa directly mirror the dynamics of dating and romantic relationships, especially the polarity of the masculine and feminine. I've learned more about myself and relationships through Salsa than I have with any other interest or passion that I've had in my life.

      This is not to pat myself on the back, but to share a female perspective - I was recently telling my cousin the story about how my girlfriend and I got started, and she actually interrupted me before I finished to vent a frustration. She said "Thank GOD you owned it!! So many men don't realize that we WANT them to make a move, and these douchebags NEVER DO IT!! Jacques, high-five...seriously..."

      The thing that really assigns meaning to a situation is whether or not a man is aware of the possibilities, as well as whether or not he chooses to act on them because it suits him and/or what he's interested in or looking for.

      Once a woman has to take the lead to get things rolling, then she becomes the masculine, and the man becomes the feminine. (This is, of course, citing a heterosexual example...) I think it's ok for a woman to express her interest, or perhaps even asking a guy on a date...but when the strength of romantic interest & feelings get to a certain degree, a man must be able to recognize them and do one of two things: either act upon it, or dial it down so as to not mislead the woman.

      It's one thing if a guy is oblivious to the way he excites a woman...that situation is bound to flatline almost every time. But if a guy knows that he's exciting a woman, and plays a little dumb on purpose for the sake of flirting and dialing the tension up, then it can lead to something pretty powerful in the near future. (This is assuming he doesn't abuse these dynamics for his own amusement, and he actually has a genuine interest in the woman. ***MEN: DO NOT F$&# WITH THIS POWER. Many of you don't realize what kind of power you have as a man, and how detrimental this can be to a woman if you don't conduct yourself with integrity, and the best interest of you both. DO NOT BE SELFISH.)

      The rabbit hole goes super deep on this subject, but I concur with the first two posts - men need to be able to recognize and flow with these types of scenarios, especially because it's entirely possible on the dance floor. Women will respect and appreciate us more because of it. :-)

      Jacques

    • BailaconPasion
      #3
      BailaconPasion commented
      Editing a comment
      LOVE this article. It is actually talking about way more than dance / Salsa! My favorite dance partner is my favorite dance partner not only because he is one of my very best friends in the world not to mention a fantastic dancer, he is a MAN's MAN and knows how to make me feel like a lady! I feel feminine and beautiful when I am dancing with him. He makes me feel so protected and most men do NOT make me feel that way when I am dancing with them! That is yet another reason why I love our BBS methods so much because I have seen my guys in class literally 'man up' as you say Edie!! This is issue is so much bigger than just the dance floor but we have the power to take it way further than the dance floor and hopefully bring back the feminine / masculine energies that were put in place...for a reason to begin with!

    • Atlas
      #4
      Atlas commented
      Editing a comment
      I have to throw a guys perspective in here. I have only been in the dance scene for a few months, but I am acutely aware of which things entertain a woman on the dance floor, and the facial expressions and subtle body language cues that let me know a woman is really into me. I never pursue any of the women I dance with. For one thing, our dance scene is saturated with women who's husbands stay at home when their wives go out dancing. Another reason is that above all else, guys want to avoid a 'creeper' label that will deprive them of future dance partners. The potential costs far outweigh the benefits.
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