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Relationships in the Dance Scene

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Here Edie, The Salsa FREAK!! Takes you on a journey through your mind, showing you the possibilities of your life based upon her vast experience of her own relationships and the relationships of others as well.

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  • Dying to Dance

    Dying to Dance



    "Dear Edie the Salsa Freak,
    I'm having a major problem. I just moved from lively [Big City], to a quiet and quaint [small town],. Back in [Big City] I took some Salsa classes and fell in love with the sport of it. There is a dance at the state park this coming weekend and I am going to it. My boyfriend, on the other hand, said that, and I quote, he "doesn't want to look like a fool" in front of everyone else.

    What can I do to make him want to dance with me? Plus, I want this little town to realize that they could do so much more with a little excitement of Salsa in their lives. Is there anyone around the vicinity of [small town] that can give me some tips?
    Thanks so much, -
    Dying to Dance with my Boyfriend, and Change this Small Town... "
    Dear Dying to Dance with my Boyfriend and Change this Small Town... Because your event is this weekend, don't force him t...
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  • I Won't Know Anyone

    I Won't Know Anyone



    Hi Edie, I've just recently logged on to your website and just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy it. It takes a special kind of person to open up their life for everyone else to read and I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate that kind of commitment.

    I've spent five years of my life engaged to a man who refused to dance with me because he'd mistaken my smiling on the dance floor for laughing at his dancing. I've been single for two years now and I've pledged to myself that my soul mate would have the same passion for dancing that I do, especially Salsa! I was bitten by the Salsa Bug sometime in March of this year. I intended to take an East Coast Swing class and attended a Salsa class by mistake. Best mistake I've ever made in my life. -- Since then, I've taken some private lessons and group classes and I'm picking it up fairly quickly (10 years o
    ...
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  • Off Beat in Paris

    Off Beat in Paris



    Dear Edie,
    I recently went to [city] with my boyfriend. We live in Paris where his dancing gets much praise. He is a competent dancer but he lacks creativity and he thinks his way is the only way. He became very threatened by seeing the [city] dancers including one very fine [dance instructor ] (male) whom we had met previously in Paris The dance instructor is really nice (was not at all flirty or inappropriate with me). My boyfriend's vibrations were so negative and he was leading me so hard and criticizing me the whole time that I had a horrible time and it was my birthday to top it all off!! The dance instructor was so turned off that he left without saying goodbye to either my boyfriend or to me. I do not blame the dance instructor as he had been really n
    ...
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  • Do Us All A Favor

    Do Us All A Favor



    Carry breath fresheners, and gum with you in the club, at ALL times.






    Happy Dancing!
    - Edie, The Salsa FREAK!!
    www.SalsaFreak.com



    ....
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  • Sex-Starved Women?

    Sex-Starved Women?


    Figure #1: "Fantasy Land"

    "Dear Edie,
    I've been noticing lately that women are far more sexually aggressive these days than men. Wow. It's like, I just wanna dance, but lately, it seems they always want something more. I feel like some of them are sex-starved or something.
    - Concerned for today's modern Salsera"


    Dear "Concerned for today's modern Salsera",
    GET OVER YOURSELF. IT'S NOT "YOU"... IT'S YOUR "LEAD".

    It's more probable that these women are NOT "sex-starved" at all. When we women go out dancing, we want to escape the realities of life, and submerse our minds and bodies into a mental Fantasy Land (Figure #1 above) of fun, thrills, laughs, and sensuality.



    We women LONG to "express ourselves" physically and emotionally because that is how we are built.
    YOU, "Mr. Concerned", must have taken her to an emotional Fantasy Land, without realizing it.

    I always quote my famous line to my Salsa students:
    "It is the Man's Responsibility to Make the Woman FEEL Good,
    It is the Woman's Responsibility to Make the Man LOOK Good."
    - Edie, The Salsa FREAK!!




    For a man, learning how to dance Salsa is a LETHAL WEAPON.
    Bottom Line. Men do not realize this as they are learning / progressing. The better they get, the more women turn their heads toward them, start talking about them, asking them to dance more and more, follow...
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  • Don't be Naive

    Don't be Naive


    Be friendly, but not naive!


    This is good advice, especially for the ladies.

    If you're out to dance and have fun, just dance and have fun. Dance with as many different men as you can. This will turn-off anyone who has different intentions for you.

    However, if you're going dancing and out for something more than just dancing, don't let the whole world know about it. Be specific, quietly, and have some class. Nobody wants to deal with an obnoxious drunk - this goes for women as well as men.... so Ladies, don't play stupid, drunk, and "dumb". This will g...
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  • Respect Other's Significant Others

    Respect Other's Significant Others



    Always respect other men's girlfriends or significant others
    - you sometimes may not know it, but if you "suspect" that person is "taken", ask the significant "other" if you may dance with thier wife/spouse/girlfriend/partner, whatever. Believe me, they appreciate it, and will respect you for it. 90% of the time, they will be more than happy to let you dance with their significant "other".

    I've even had some ladies thank me and say "Oh please do, because I'd like to dance with someone else for a change!!!"...


    "Take him!! THANK YOU EDIE!!" ...
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  • A Sad Ella

    A Sad Ella


    "Dear Edie,
    I've been dancing for a year now, and absolutely love it,...I have recently moved in with my long-term boyfriend...and I am a bit sad because we always end up having an argument when I drag him along to a night (he usually doesn't want to come with me) Does it really mean the end of a relationship if your man doesn't dance, doesn't want to make an effort, doesn't like the people , and doesn't particularly like the music? But I get on well with him otherwise......
    - A Sad Ella"
    Dear Sad Ella, This is a sad and tough question. I'm going to tell you the truth. I'm convinced that I would have had to give up Salsa to make my former relationship work. Here's why. During the first part of my 10-year marriage, my ex-husband and I got along great in most areas of our lives. Camping, scuba diving, church, movies, drives along the coast......
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  • Doomed in New York

    Doomed in New York

    "Hi Edie: I have encountered a problem in my search for a Salsa dance partner in New York City and am wondering if you had any ideas. I am a natural born Salsera in my mid 30s who has been dancing Salsa all my life!! I would like to hook up with a male dance partner (intermediate to advanced) to practice at least once a week here in the NYC clubs. The problem I have encountered is the fact that I am married. My husband is a gringo who has tried to go dancing with me, we have even taken classes together. Unfortunately for me, my hubby just does not want to get into Latin music. He likes heavy metal music (aaaggghhh, noise!!!). Anyway he suggested that I try to find a Salsero whom I can get together with 3 or 4 times a month. I have ...
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  • The Salsa Wife

    The Salsa Wife

    "Dear Edie, I love the Salsa FREAK website, it's so entertaining & I can really appreciate the "down to earth" answers that you give to almost every question under the sun. However, I have a question for you that you may not have had before and I could appreciate some insight and wisdom from you. I am a beginning Salsera (been taking lessons since February) and I am ADDICTED. I can totally relate to you when you talk about needing to get your "fix." I take lessons twice a week and go out regularly to clubs. My problem is my husband. We began taking lessons together. He is a phenomenal dancer, from Belize (Central America), he's got the rhythm, Cuban motion, etc., and is very good at solo "styling" moves. The problem with him is that he 1) doesn't believe in needing to practice (at all), resulting in his 2) getting frustrated wh...
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  • Relationships Baggage
    staffster
    ...
    06-13-2013, 02:41 PM
  • Nostalgic for Dance
    ediester
    Pete and Carmen from
    "Pete and Carmen's Salsa Dance Academy, Fresno, CA"


    Dear Edie,
    First off, let me say that your story on your website really inspired me. I discovered Salsa in college, when my roommate (who was a Salsa nut) wanted someone to go with her. I quickly discovered my limited knowledge of the differences in genre Cumbia, Merengue, Salsa, etc., but also I feel deeply madly in love with the thrill of it. After graduation we both moved on to live outside of that world, but deep down I find myself missing Salsa and missing dancing. So here's my dilemma. I have been blessed to have found wonderfully imperfect man with whom to spend the rest of my life with. The only problem is he doesn't dance. BUT, I know he w
    ...
    01-01-2013, 05:43 PM
  • Should I Pursue, or Not?
    ediester
    In this day and age, men are simply clueless when a woman gets turned on by him - especially if he is just simply "doing his own thing" the same way with every girl he dances with. Some women have been so frustrated lately at the "numbness" of the male's "simple-minded creatures" aspect that women have had to resort to simply "blurting out" how they feel, leaving the guys completely dumbfounded as to what is actually happening. And, of course, women now feel like idiots because THEY are the ones pursuing the man, and no longer the other way around. This makes men the weaker of the two. Not a very comforting feeling for ANY woman to put up with for very long. ...
    12-05-2012, 10:47 PM
  • Lower Your Expectations
    ediester



    Dear Edie,
    Glad to hear your going to do another Salsa Bootcamp before the congress. I've been trying to go to the congress for two years now. Always something coming up; excuses, excuses, excuses. I'm only going to live once so I'm going; even if I have to go by myself! Right now I only have time for classes and private lessons. The projects I'm working on are all in the final integration and test phase so its double and triple shifts. Must eventually get the birds on orbit for the Air Force. You know the drill after having worked at Aerospace. I read you bio; quite a story!

    Yes, I'm still with her and its one big mistake. I really and truly wanted to
    ...
    11-19-2012, 05:03 PM
  • The Dream
    ediester


    Edie, I hope you remember "Bust my Ass with Class" Mary. You were too kind to print my article about my competition a couple of years ago. During which you were laboring under a double groin pull which I do soooo hope is healed by now! Okay, what follows below is a wonderful letter from a new friend of mine. Oh, as far as publishing this one, maybe no, not without editing (the boyfriend thing) & not without asking her permission but I know you & you would do these things without me having said anything. What I had in mind instead was simply (if you could) to let me know the next time you are in Sacramento maybe like you did that one time where you...
    11-19-2012, 04:49 PM
  • The Positive Side of Salsa
    bcali
    "Dear Edie, Thanks Edie for talking to me about getting started in Salsa. I wish there were more people like you that really promoted the positive side of Salsa. What I have to say is a little commentary about where I see Salsa going. It is very interesting to just study the social scene of Salsa and in particular why oddly enough when I chose a place to live in the next 5 years it will have to be around a place where Salsa is very positive. Before I moved to Colorado, I was in Korea and Arizona before that The Salsa scene in both Tucson, Arizona and K...
    11-19-2012, 04:43 PM
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