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My Garlic Serenade


  • My Garlic Serenade

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    By Edie, The Salsa FREAK!!

    OK. So I was dancing with this guy the other night.....

    .... and his breath smelled like DINNER.

    HIS Dinner.

    I almost lost it.

    I could almost tell you specifically what he ate, and yes, it included GARLIC and ONIONS. I didn't realize this however (as most of us don't) until we were about 10 seconds into the song and HE STARTS SINGING OUT LOUD TO THE MUSIC - like he's serenading me or something! He was really starting to enjoy this, and I was really getting more and more annoyed...

    I wanted to tell him that I appreciated the gesture, that I appreciated his wonderful voice (NOT), and that his singing IN MY FACE was really not necessary...


    So what did I do? I TOLERATED him until the song was over. I guess I'm just too nice to do anything else. The only offensive thing he did to me was BREATHE OUT, but since that physical ability is highly recommended for dancing AND LIVING no less, I didn't really have any justifiable reason to walk off the dance floor.

    I did my usual "good deed", and after the song was over, pulled him aside, and very gently and quietly whispered in his ear...


    Check this. He couldn't understand me, because HE DIDN'T SPEAK ENGLISH. So I tried to say it in Spanish, but forgot how to say it! I didn't want to spend too much time on this, so I tried to use sign language and "act out" what his breath smelled like. He just stood there, with a blank look, staring at me like I was AN ALIEN or something. After a few seconds of BREATH CHARADES, I gave up, and swore I would learn how to say "YOUR BREATH SMELLS" in Spanish.

    Sounds rude, but SOMEONE's got to tell these people! Geez!

    • nopalero
      nopalero commented
      Editing a comment
      [laugh] Oh my. This is funny. I think you'd say, "Su aliento apesta." but you have to watch how you say "apesta" because some people can take it in a wrong way. If I were that guy I would of appreciate someone tell me about my breath.

      For me, the worst dancing experiences have been dancing with drunk people. Eeow. I feel like I have to take extra care of them out in the dance floor so if I had to choose with being serenated by garlic or a drunk person it'd have to be Garlic Man. :-)

    • staffster
      staffster commented
      Editing a comment
      Yuck! I hate that. You're right. I don't know what's worse. Garlic or Alcohol breath. I try to carry breath mints or gum just in case. If someone offers them to you, NEVER SAY NO. It's cuz we really need it and they are just trying to give us a Hint!!! LOL!

      Thanks for the comment Juan!
      - Edie

    • macguy4321
      macguy4321 commented
      Editing a comment
      Alcohol breath? Heck for me just the smell of alcohol in the club turns my stomach. Don't get me wrong, I love a good beer or a nice glass of wine, but it's defiantly during my non-dancing, non-work time. (What little time that encompasses)

      There was a guy that came into one of my regular places drunk. At first, we were snickering when he'd do a turn and forgot who he was dancing with, but then it turned not so funny when he... well, since we're in polite company here leave it at he behaved shockingly inappropriately with one of my female friends.
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