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Guys that are off beat

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  • Guys that are off beat

    I can't stand it when the guy gets off beat. I mean, "I" know the music, "I" know where the beat is.

    I try to be polite, but, I'm sick of trying to TOLERATE these guy's ineptness at finding the beat all the time! I mean, it's like they DON'T EVEN TRY to get it. They don't want to take lessons, they could care less if they are dancing to the music or not, [B]BUT I HAVE TO FOLLOW THEM AND PRETEND IT'S OK??? [/B] It seems like half the guys in my city don't know where the "One" is... much less the "Two".

    The biggest problem is that the "good" leads are off fricking time. Their lead is awesome, but they have NO CLUE about dancing to the rhythm.

    So when I want to dance ON TIME, I end up with a newbie group cl*** guy - his lead is mediocre, but at least he's ON THE BEAT.

    Why can't I have BOTH? I mean, is that too much to ask????

    What usually happens is that I end up putting HIM back in the rhythm, teaching THEM without saying anything, and end up give him a DIRTY LOOK to teach him a lesson.

    I just don't know what to do. I'm not an instructor, have no interest in teaching, but just want to feel the music with him like "I" feel it. [B]ON TIME!!!! [/B]

    Is that okay?
    Should I just TOLERATE him and not say / do anything?
    Should I back-lead him into the rhythm?
    Should I verbally tell him he's OFF TIME?
    Should I tell him he needs lessons?
    Should I just not dance with him anymore?

  • #2
    When the guy is off beat, he doesn't realize it. I like it when a girl puts me back on. It helps me think about what I'm doing. I know I'm not perfect, but then again if she does it way too often, I probably won't ask her to dance again. Women have a way of making men feel like @##$%$#% without realizing it.

    If she told me I need to take a class, I'd tell her to go _________. You ladies got it hard! You have to follow us, but when we're off, you gotta take it, and think about it the entire song with your mouth shut. wow, I really never thought about it before now.

    I better go take that class.


    • #3
      Not too much to ask, but do realize that sometimes we do have off nights.

      Last night I went out and the band was off. They had a new bass player that just was out of sync with the rest of the band which makes it hard.


      • #4
        Off-Beat Support Group

        Off-Beat Support Group! Now THAT'S a great idea! So if you're having an "off night", do you let the female know before, during, or after your dance? Since I'm a female, it would be nice to know before-hand, so I can not start thinking these "oh brother he's off time" thoughts... and then just ignore him. BUT, if he tells me he is having a bad off-beat night, then I may be more forgiving.

        BUT if the BAND IS OFF, and my partner tells me he is having an off-night. then we can both BLAME THE BAND and have a nice drink afterwards as part of our discussion to break the ice. I find that guys who tell me they are having an off-night. I find myself being more loving toward them, and more forgiving. I can't stand a guy whos off - beat and still thinks he's ALL THAT. Those guys make me crazy. They are so stupid. They are so off, and still think they are HOT S&%^$*. THAT's when I write their names on the bathroom stall for all women to BEWARE!


        • #5
          Off-Beaters need lovin' too...

          Darn. It seems like you have expectations and when your expectations aren't meant you can't enjoy yourself. Let it be and enjoy yourself more... If a guy is off beat if you let yourself be lead it'll probably be easy. There isn't a problem if you tell the guy you don't want to dance or tell him that he's off beat. When I dance with a girl who can't keep a beat to save her life I go to her beat. You should see how much more one is appreciate it when tha is done and after I tell her one good thing I liked about our dancing, followed by a "we were a little off beat but next time we should find it". It makes them aware that they are off beat and to find the beat.

          Good luck with your Off-Beaters. :-)
          .nopalero. []


          • #6
            [QUOTE=nopalero;396] There isn't a problem if you tell the guy you don't want to dance or tell him that he's off beat. When I dance with a girl who can't keep a beat to save her life I go to her beat. [/QUOTE]

            Well said. I don't do anything complicated if she's off beat but as long as she's consistent I'll follow her and it's OK. If she breaks on 1, then later on 2, then on 5... it can get tough but if she's not crashing into people I go with it, let her have fun and don't do anything too complicated. I have to be able to "count" on my partner in order to really let loose.

            This being said, if the music switches character during a song and I'm dancing with a partner who feels pretty experienced (a reggaeton break for example), I may try switching to samba, zuk, meringue, tango or whatever for a few bars and then cut back to salsa when the music changes back. When the ladies can roll with it it's awesome!


            • #7

              It's best to find a dance partner that you get along with and who can dance on time.
              Last edited by MervinPi; 07-14-2019, 09:02 AM.